Call it a mid-life crisis…a quarter-life crisis…or call it whatever you want but just weeks before my big 3-0 I found myself croushing over, hyperventilating, as cold sweat bubbles formulated around my hairline.
Is this really it?!
Am I actually, really turning 30?!
What have I done with my life?!
Is it all enough?!
I couldn’t help but stop and reflect on the last 29 years of my life, wondering if I had truly lived enough, laughed enough, or even loved enough. I was shocked to find myself saying no to all those questions… and the many other ones that came thereafter. So here I was, just moments away from a mental breakdown when I decided that if there was ever going to the be “right” time for me to start over, this was going to have to be it. I was turning 30 after all, and there was never going to be a better year, or a better moment, to just simply pluck myself out of my world and literally just CLICK restart.
Let’s rewind for a second; Ever since I was a little girl I always imagined myself living in the big city, pursuing my career as writer, and well simply put, being extraordinary! Never did I think that 29 years later, I’d still be living in this no-name of a city just simply co-existing. Somewhere in the midst of trying to be extraordinary, I somehow just ended up being ordinary. Where did I go wrong?
So, I decided to quit. To quit on my unhappiness, to quit on my negativity, to quit on my excuses, and to quit on my procrastination. Right there and then, I decided to quit on my current life and spend the next 365 re-writing a better one!