It was a hot and shrewd early August morning. I remember waking up knowing, instinctively, that today was going to be the day that I was going to take the largest leap of my life.
As I got into my car, geared with a hot brew of coffee ready to tackle on another school year with my staff and students, that nagging voice in the pit of my stomach was still trying to creep out of my vocals.
I thought I had chained her by the ankles!?
I thought I had duck-taped her shut!?
How was she still digging her sharp claws up my esophagus?!
But She did that morning.
She escaped.
She got out.
Out on that first breath;
She condensated in my exhale into tiny droplets of solid that I can now see as a cloud, as a fog, obstructing my clear vision.
She just wanted to break away, to break free from the world to be spiritually unbounded. She knew she would have to give up a lot, but that was her planned lesson for the day: To be candid, to sacrifice the sanctuary of fear for the unknown, for the cloud, for the fog.
And so, when the fog evaporated, I found myself at the staircase of my future. And just like that I was summoned back into my body, into my reality, needing to make a choice:
Do I take that first step on that conveyor belt or do I stay right here, admiring the view, accepting the nauseous view of the looped rotating assembly chain in its constant cycle?
She had driven me to the staircase of my life.
Makz.Quest 
Sometimes taking the staircase with an unknown destination is the best thing we can do! Having faith is very important and you have lots of faith.
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Yes, it really is! The first step is just letting yourself take that first step!
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Well worded, it reminds me of how my wife tries to explain anxiety to me when I can’t seem to understand it. Are you planning on writing more this year? I gathered that from your posts and if that is true, you should definitely keep it up.
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YES! I definitely plan on it! You found just at the right time as I just begin to explore my own story, my own path, as I tackle on my own anxiety and over come my own fears! Anxiety can be a terrible thing…it’s as if it has a life of its own within us! We should have to be stronger and louder then that voice within us! Thank you again for taking the time to find my writing!
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Beautifully worded. Listen to that inner voice, don’t imprison your intuition. Go into the unknown and be that person you’re meant to be.
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Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I definitely will not allow it to!
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There’s always that whisper, isn’t there? Always that force trying to pull you back into your own body when you dear to imagine beyond it. Always that weight, that tries to anchor you to the life you HAVE lived instead of that life you WANT to live.
I’m excited to see where that firs step takes you.
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Yes, there always is! Some days that anchor feels a lot heavier and stronger, but we have to believe that our wave can pull it out of the sand and help us guide our sails 🙂
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